Top 10 On Crack

waynesworldtopten

I’m not a huge fan of lists and don’t do many on this site, but the other night I had an urge to do some and then I went crazy! All the top tens I could think of, some serious, some fun, all conveniently placed in this post for your reading pleasure. There’s a lot here, so browse around and learn about my tastes, or have even more fun and read them all!

A note before we begin: all my entries are in chronological order, although I did star the #1 entries. The rest in each category, numbers two through ten, are equal (there are too many nuances, not to mention my own changing tastes, to rank them).

Lastly, I obviously am only including movies I’ve seen. So if you’re upset about a film that is missing, I might not have seen it (recommend it to me in the comments!). These lists are current as of November 30th, 2015.

And now, without further ado: My Top 10:

FILMS

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My Thoughts On Television (and some reviews too!)

The Walking Dead Season 2 One Sheet Television Poster game of thrones bloodline Parks_and_Recreation_Season_6_Box_Art unbreakable kimmy schmidt lost Big_bang_theory_poster11 orange is the new black breaking bad wire true detective mad men poster

There’s lots of movie stuff on this blog, but what about television? We’re in the Second Golden Age of Television after all, and TV has never been better. Television is so good that it’s actually stealing lots of talent from film (we have 24 to blame for that, the first case I know of where a film actor switched to TV and saw his profile rise) and pretty much all the good writers (minus writer/directors and half of Aaron Sorkin) are writing for television these days. Knowing this, why don’t I write more about TV?

The truth is, while I love film, I’m not much of TV person. Yes, television and film both tell stories with pictures that move (and sound), but the stories they tell are very different. Movies are dynamic, they are about the most important event in a person’s life, the event that causes them to change forever. Television, however, is about the character’s life before or after that event; the characters are static, they don’t change. They are the same week after week, which makes it comfortable to spend time with them, and enjoyable too since they are “likeable”.

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Blue Mornings Available Online!

My short slice-of-life drama Blue Mornings is available to watch online for the first time! Enjoy!

Starring: Caitlin Rose Williams, Ari Frenkel
Director of Photography: Christopher James Tobias
Composer: Jeff Icuss

13 Choices Amateur Filmmakers Make

The sequel to the 12 Choices Amateur Screenwriters Make, here are 13 choices that amateur filmmakers make.

1) All the writing choices I already mentioned (duh!)

2) Stupid camera shit, like:

  • Dolly zooms

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12 Choices Amateur Screenwriters Make

amateur pro

Screenwriting is hard, I know; I’m still learning how to do it right. I also know that it’s not just writing that is hard, thinking like a writer – like a professional writer – is also hard, probably harder in fact.

In the last year I’ve posted several requests for short scripts, and as a result have read over 500 amateur screenplays (or at least the first five pages, or at least the first page). In doing so, and also in looking back on my own writing and my experiences in writing classes, I started to notice certain things, certain signs that scripts and the writers writing them are not up to snuff. That they are amateur, with the same voice and experience as every other amateur out there.

Also see: 13 Choices Amateur Filmmakers Make

Note: this post is not about execution. Things like bad grammar and typos, inactive protagonists and low stakes, unnatural dialog, these are all signs of amateur writing but they are on the execution front and there are plenty of blogs that cover these topics already. This post is different. This post is about common choices amateurs make. And while technically it is possible for an novice to write a professional quality script after making these choices, it is not likely and if your writing falls into these categories, it’s very likely that you are an amateur, that you are thinking like an amateur, and that your script is the same as every other amateur script out there.

Okay, here goes:

1. Writing about writers

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Cluck Cluck Silence

Write one sentence. Then write another without violating the first one. Continue until complete

CLUCK CLUCK SILENCE

Okay, this is bullshit. That bullshit situation and why do they do this? To prove themselves. To prove that they’re so hot we’ll do anything for them. Risk the ridicule of their friends for the chance to maybe get somewhere, something, maybe. Women, so fucking bullshit, with their troubles and their needs and their talk talk talk, wine me dine me talk. But so fucking worth it.

Especially this one, eying me, across the bar. Surrounded by friends, Mrs. Motherhen and the Ugly One and it’s all so cliché. Nothing cliché about her though, pretty as can be, and she’s definitely eying me.

Okay, lets do it. Finish your beer and go. Talk to her. Fuck the others, she’s yours, she wants you. Be brave. Walk over. Yes. Her eyes follow, you’re in, she’s yours, closer, across the bar, her eyes locked in, away, back, giving me the signs. Twenty feet, fifteen, ten, she looks away. Playing innocent, I get it, I saw you. Five, three, one.

“Hello,” I say. I’ve never been good with game; hello’s all I got. “Not interested,” says Mrs. Motherhen. Fuck you bitch, I ain’t talking to you. No one is. I smile. Chicks love the smile. “Can I get you a drink?” “I said she’s not interested.” Cluck cluck cluck, that’s all I hear, as I stare at the girl. I’m in, she’s with me, staring back, eye contact, the most powerful connection one can make.

“Cluck cluck cluck why are you still here cluck cluck cluck.” Okay seriously, this bitch, say something lady, get up and lets go, before I smack her. This fucking cunt, ruining my time, my game, which I don’t have much of, and fuck, she’s just sitting there, I don’t get it. “Bartender cluck cluck cluck, this guy is bothering us. Make him leave.” What? Fucking hen, fucking bitch, making eye contact still, just sitting there, not moving, and now I look like an ass, an idiot. Nothing to say, no idea what to do. Fuck, I should just crawl up and die. The bouncer comes and I don’t resist, just walk away, defeated, dead, done.

One look back and there are the three girls, no eye contact, just laughing. Fuck.

History of Cinema – An Infograph

I love film and I love film history; back in February I even did a podcast on it! Hollywood in particular has a super dynamic history, constantly responding to changing demands and social values, all the while absorbing cinematic influences from all over the world.

If you study film, you’ll start to learn about movements and waves. These occur when the confluence of talent, support, and timing come together just right, causing an underrepresented cinema to explode onto the international scene. These cinemas are often national cinemas that are popular in their own country but not internationally, but sometimes (especially recently) they comes from Hollywood’s own backyard. For example, right now, in addition to Hollywood being in the Franchise Era, we are also in the midst of the Mumblecore movement, the Second Black Wave, and New Queer Cinema, and on the international front we are currently experiencing the New French Extremity and also new waves from Mexico, South Korea, Romania, and Iran.

Because there’ve been so many waves and movements in the history of film, all producing great films and filmmakers, I decided to organize them. The result is the entire history of film (Hollywood centric) in one infograph.

history of film (smaller)

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